EFT – LOA ,Feeling trapped and starting a business

Hi,

Here is another case using EFT. This time it is in the area of success and business. Or another word that describes the session is manifestation.

The Dream

Shannon’s dream was to run her own therapy business. She had already attended my EFT Training courses in Manchester. So was fully qualified to work as a therapist.

The Current Reality

Shannon’s problem was that she felt stuck in a dead end job. She couldn’t see a way forward! She was stuck in the trap of needing to earn money to live! She did not have a financial cushion of money to fall back upon, so there was no way she could stop working to set up the new business.  Her job left her with little to no time to begin to develop her ideas.

Setting into Motion – The Law of Attraction

At the time I was setting up a film date to record some EFT sessions for a series of EFT DVD’s I was creating. Grasping the opportunity, Shannon volunteered for me to film working on her “stuckness” problem. Below is a section from the DVD.

 

 

Law of Attraction – The Result

By the end of the session, Shannon already new things were different for her. She could see herself leaving her current job smiling. Well……….. that happened within a few weeks of the session. Not only that, but an “amazing” sequence of events took place that eventually resulted in Shannon running her dream business.

Where is she now? She is very happy!

 

Smoking, Addictions and EFT

EFT and Dealing with a Smoking Addiction

Hi,

EFT is a powerful tool for helping people overcome addictions including that of smoking. In fact it is used with all types of addiction issues including alcohol, drugs and food.

One of the ways that EFT can be applied to help a person stop smoking is to deal with the person’s original motivation to smoke.  Generally cigarettes do not have a pleasant taste at least initially so in order for the person to become a smoker their motivation has to be sufficiently powerful that they are able to overcome this aspect of the cigarette. Typically people start smoking  at a young age.

Step 1: Smoking – Finding the Original Motivation

Trace it back to when the person first became motivated to smoke. Many people easily remember this, but if they don’t, EFT can be used to help access this early memory. When you have identified the event, ask “What did cigarettes do for you?”

“It does nothing for me” is a common answer, but that is the adult speaking. For the adult that may seem to be true, because whatever was the initial motivation for smoking is often no longer relevant to the adult. However the interesting thing is that although it is no longer relevant, it is still running like an old computer program. The consequences of this is that it still dictates their behavior – smoking! (That is why adults are often mystified as to why they smoke).

“What did it do for the younger self?”

The answer to this question is most illuminating. “It made me grown up”, “It made me special”, “It made me confident” , “It made me feel like a rebel” are just some of the common answers people give. If you watch the body language when they offer this information, you can almost see their face light up with the pleasant emotions it brings forth!

Step 2: Breaking the Linkage Between Pleasure and Smoking using EFT

This association between pleasure and cigarettes is what needs to be broken. Tapping out the original event where this association was made can have a powerful impact on the person’s motivation to smoke now.

It is often worthwhile to check out whether for example if they answer, “smoking makes me confident”, there is another underlying issue that it would be worthwhile to deal with to make sure they have no need whatsoever to smoke. In this example, they could be using cigarettes to hide behind. Deal with the confidence issue using EFT and there is no longer any need to smoke.

You may also need to do further EFT on the associations the person holds in their mind about smoking, such as:

“I want to smoke when I think of drinking”

“I want to smoke when I think of driving”

Step 3: Knowing When You Have A Result with Smoking using EFT

The ideal emotion you are aiming for when using EFT on an addiction issue such as smoking is indifference, not hate, not love! People who don’t smoke are for the most part indifferent to cigarettes.

When we have no emotion about cigarettes, they lose their hold over us. They become insignificant. When that happens you find that  you stop thinking about them. You basically forget about them as they are no longer important to you.

All the best,

Tania

Tania A Prince

EFT Master

NLP Trainer

EFT – Eliminating Shoulder Pain in 15 minutes

Hi,

EFT is a powerful tool for working with physical problems. Chase the Pain is a specific approach within EFT, one that is really easy to use, but not only that it gets great results. Jim attended an EFT Training that I was running in Manchester, England. He kindly volunteered for me to work with him.

Jim had damaged his shoulder. If Jim put his arm by his side, he could only lift it at thirty degree angles until he encountered intense pain. Jim’s problem had been there for two years. Jim’s doctors had advised him to have an operation. This however was put on hold due to another medical problem that he had making it potentially dangerous for him to be put under an anesthetic.

It was during this period that Jim attended my EFT Training course and volunteered for me to demonstrate the “Chase the Pain” approach. The results were almost instantaneous. Within one round of EFT, Jim was able to move his arm upward to a 45 degree angle, much to his own astonishment and to those in the audience who started to whip out their cameras! Within minutes Jim’s arm was easily reaching a vertical position. Taking a step further, we decided to now make sure full mobility and range of movement was back in the arm. Jim now put his arm behind him and reached toward his shoulders, using the range of the undamaged shoulder as a guide as it moved freely.

The demonstration was terminated when both arms were able to reach right up the back without pain and any limitation of movement. In total it took about 15 minutes from start to finish. The actual number of EFT tapping rounds was about 6 or 7.

At the 5 month follow up, Jim’s mobility range had remained at the point we finished the session. He had occasion twinges (about once every two weeks), which perhaps indicate there is something else remaining to be cleared.

Chase the Pain, is a precision EFT Technique.

There are several stages to it.

Stages in Chase the Pain

1. Assessment of the problem
2. Identify what needs to happen to constitute a result
3. Tapping on the quality of the symptoms
4. Re-assessment
5. Tapping on the new quality of the symptoms
6. Continue until you get the desired result

1. 1. Assessment of the problem

The best way to do this is to ask, how do you know you have this problem? What you are looking for is a description of the quality of the pain/ problem, such as, “a sharp pain under my left shoulder blade”. The more precise you are in your description, generally the better the results, although it is not unknown to people to be relatively global and still for it to work! A more global description of the above problem would be to say, “This shoulder pain”. Pains and sensations can have many qualities, such as they can feel, cold or hot, tight, stretched, stabbing, throbbing etc. It is best practice to use the words supplied by the client or if you are working on yourself, to use the words that are natural for you. Avoid trying to use unfamiliar words for example some people try to put it into “medical speak”, it is not necessary and does not help you achieve results.

At this point you need to identify what the person needs to do to have this problem. For example, they may have no pain if their arm is still and down by their side. The pain may only occur if they move their arm to a specific position. It is very useful to ask the person to move until they feel the onset of the problem, making sure you advise them to take care of themselves and only take it to the point of it starting. Avoid plunging the person into painJ Some people are very keen and go for it, it is not advisable, so preempt it by instructing the client what you want them to do before you ask them to do it.

1. 2. Identify what needs to happen to constitute a result

At this point you need to identify;

Is this a constant problem? For example the pain may fluctuate and disappear periodically, and if this is the case the fact it might disappear during the EFT may not really prove that the problem has gone. In this type of case you would need to know, “how long would you need that problem to no longer be there for you to know the problem has gone?”

 

1. 3. Tapping on the quality of the symptoms

 

Using the descriptive terms that describe the quality of the problem you now tap a round of EFT.

For example:

Karate Point: “Even though I have a sharp pain under my left shoulder blade I completely and totally accept me anyway”

Etc

 

 

1. 4. Re-assessment

 

Now ask, “What are you aware of Now?”

 

Often the sensation or quality of the problem will change. For example a “sharp pain under the left shoulder” may become a “throbbing ache under the left shoulder”.

“And the intensity of that is?”

1. 5. Tapping on the new quality of the symptoms

Using the new words supplied by the client (or yourself if you are doing self therapy) do another round of EFT.

Karate Point: “Even though now I have a throbbing ache under the left shoulder I completely and totally accept me anyway”

Etc

1. 6. Continue until you get the desired result

Sometimes it is easy to know that you have the result, for example if a pain that is there constantly is no longer there it shows something dramatic is different. However if the pain is one that can come and go, it is worthwhile now to point out that something is different and for the client now to get feedback in the external world.

Chase the Pain, is a very beautiful approach that can often get dramatic results.

All the best,

Tania

Tania A Prince

EFT Master

NLP Trainer

www.eft-courses.co.uk

Ruth’s Anxiety and Inner RePatterning – A Success Story

Hi,

Here is another article I would like to share on the Inner RePatterning, mindfulness technique, developed from EFT.

“I couldn’t quite believe it! I tested it out. I walked home – Ambulance sirens didn’t bother me, busy traffic was on the road, and I on the pavement – no reaction. We went into a busy restaurant – no reaction – amazing!”

Ruth volunteered to work on stage with June K Spencer (co developer of Inner RePatterning) at a Inner RePatterning training in London. Prior to the demonstration Ruth had been experiencing high levels of anxiety mixed with bouts of “drifting in and out of consciousness”.

Before I share Ruth’s story, in the most part in her own words, let’s briefly explain Inner RePatterning.

Inner RePatterning – A Mindful, Energetic Approach Developed From EFT

• Inner RePatterning is a very simple technique. It was developed from EFT and inspired by the work of Eckhart Tolle.  It also uses the power of setting intentions. Inner RePatterning could be described as a mindful approach to therapy.

About Inner RePatterning

• Does not require a person to understand or analyse “the problem”.
• Uses only one tapping point: the thymus point.
• Does not use the terminology, “Even though….”. It is much more informal.
• Minimises any discomfort the person may have working on issues by creating a dissociation at the beginning of the process. Many people clear “problems” without feeling any discomfort.
• Does not require finding the right words to tune into the problem.
• Works in the “now”, in that you do not have to talk about or find past events related to the current problem. Past events may emerge during the process; however we do not go into them.
• When people have complex problems they may have parts of themselves that resist healing. Inner RePatterning can deal with multiple parts at one and the same time.
• Like EFT, it can be used as a self help approach.
• Inner RePatterning has been used on a broad range of issues including autism, anger management, obsessive compulsive disorder, fear, phobias, social phobia, PTSD and weight issues to name a few.

Ruth’s Story

At age 12, Ruth had “escaped being knifed by cunning, but another person got knifed instead and ended up in a wheelchair permanently”. Many years (2002) later Ruth’s doctor described her as suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

By 2003 her issues were so severe that she was self-harming and was treated as an emergency case. Although her doctors wanted to keep her in hospital, they decided to release her because of her claustrophobia. Instead they prescribed Venlafaxine for severe depression. “Later on it became evident that something like hallucinations were occurring, leading to continuing self-harm incidents, so Trifluroperazine 1mg up to 4 times daily was prescribed”.

In 2005 Ruth began psychotherapy. “Various historical incidents were discussed and a psychotherapist summed up by saying, ‘ it sounds like you are describing a war zone, school was a war zone for you’. This was clarifying and in my mind confirmed the PTSD connection. This had been incidental from age 11.”

By the time of the Inner RePatterning training in London in April 2011, Ruth had been taking Venlafaxine and Trifluroperazine medication continuously for eight years.

“On leaving Devon for London I had forgotten to bring my Venlafaxine and Trifluroperazine tablets. Thankfully, I was able to go to an out-of-hours service and obtain temporary prescription. The chemist didn’t have the Trifluroperazine. Already by this time I was 2 doses down on Trifluroperazine and to find the chemist, I had a churning stomach and was flinching from traffic in London and ducking behind my (supportive) cousin, going flat against walls as Taxis dived in and out between double-decker buses weaving between like a frenetic dance (like they do in London).

I was now dreading this training course. How would I survive in a London Hotel, with all these people I didn’t know? Will I understand what anyone is saying? How can I cope? I can pretend, but will I learn anything? Will I understand? Will I show myself up? Will I be stupid? Will I have to leave and expose myself as inadequate? All these questions raced through me, over and over”.

At the training

The result of all of this was that at the training, “I felt I had been drifting in and out of consciousness learning all day, (with a tendency to fall asleep or at least close eyes, and absorb through a distancing, on the first day. At the end of the first day, June was asking for a volunteer to demonstrate an issue to find resolution. I volunteered”.

June led me through the process, slowly and attentively, publicly to the group. I am not sure of the time it took, but maybe 25 – 40 minutes. I felt guilty taking up so much workshop time.  However, we reached a point, where no new ‘stuff/images’ were appearing. This is the signal to close the process”.

It was obvious that Ruth was feeling very different at the end of the session. It was a very gentle session.

Ruth’s Feedback

“I felt calm, upright, confident, and unafraid – all negative physical sensations had ceased. I couldn’t quite believe it! I tested it out. I walked home – Ambulance sirens didn’t bother me, busy traffic was on the road, and I on the pavement – no reaction. We went into a busy restaurant – no reaction – amazing! I was at ease talking. The oppressive London heat was OK – all so different to the night before. Next day, still no Trifluroperazine – a good day at the workshop – colleagues commented that my facial tension had gone, I was carrying myself differently. I was at ease and engaged. Paddington Station was just a busy place, not an obstacle to endure. The journey home and my 1 hour drive at the other end, I did without falling asleep. Usually I had had to pull over and take 20 minute naps to remain safe on the road at least once, sometimes twice even with the Trifluroperazine”.

The demonstration was on the 4^th of April, on the 25^th of May, Ruth made the decision to ask that Trifluroperazine be removed from her repeat prescription as she hadn’t needed it since the workshop.  [Editor’s note: Ruth made this decision on her own. At no point was it suggested to her to stop her medication. Medication decisions should always be made between a client and her physician.]

I have, for the most part, used Ruth’s own words to describe her experiences and history.

All the best,

Tania

©Tania A Prince

Tania A Prince, EFT Master, NLP Trainer, Developer of Inner RePatterning with June K Spencer
For information on Inner RePatterning go to: www.InnerRepatterning.com

This article was previously published in the EFTMastersworldwide site

EFT and Reframing – Using Counter Examples

Hi

EFT is a powerful tool for getting results. When combined with reframing (using language to help a person change perspective) the results can often be even more dramatic. There is an art and skill to combining reframing with EFT. Reframing can be extremely useful if you want to lighten the mood of a session and also if things are not clearing smoothly.

EFT and Reframing – Using Counter Examples

Following on from my previous articles on EFT and reframing, this particular article concentrates on a very simple yet stunningly effective reframe. This type of reframe often creates an instant result. I have found it particularly effective with addictions. As with all reframes there is an art and skill to using it.

Smoking and the Counter-Example Reframe

One of the things I generally address when I deal with a smoking issue is what caused the person to smoke in the first place. What was their original motivation? For many people the first time they smoke is not a comfortable experience, something powerful has to be happening at an emotional level for the person to persevere. People often assume because they are older and that the original circumstances of when they started smoking are no longer relevant to them that these programmes are no longer running, however that may not be the case.

When I work with an issue such as smoking the objective of the session is to eliminate ALL emotions around cigarettes so that the person no longer loves or hates cigarettes. The objective is to help the client become indifferent to them.

The case I used in this article took place a couple of years ago. It involves a woman who had smoked since her early teens.

Finding the Initial Motivation Event

The question I asked to find out what had originally motivated the client to start smoking was:

“What would you guess the initial event was that led to you wanting to smoke, you might not have smoked at the time however it set the scene for that?”

The client immediately said that it was an event very early in her life when she had watched her aunty smoke. The aunty had used a cigarette holder and in the client’s words looked really, “glamorous”. She remembered thinking that she wanted to be like that.

As the client recited this story it was obvious from her body language that she was still accessing the feelings that she had had as the child, her whole face lit up at the recollection.

This provided useful information as regard to testing the work we were about to do. The client’s face should no longer light up.

Example

Karate Point: “So even though aunty looked really glamorous and I decided Smoking makes you glamorous, I completely and totally love and accept myself”.

Karate Point: “So even though Smoking made aunty look really glamorous and I wanted to be like that, I completely and totally accept myself”.

Karate Point: “So even though I wanted to be look glamorous like aunty smoking, I completely and totally love and approve of myself”.

Eyebrow: “Smoking made aunty look glamorous and I wanted to be like aunty”.

Side of the Eye: “Smoking makes you look glamorous, because aunty looked glamorous”.

Under the Eye: “Yes, smoking makes you look glamorous”.

Under the nose: “Do you watch the show, Coronation Street?” “Yes”, she replied. “Have you seen Bet Lynch in the show?” Yes, again she replied.

Chin: “Bet Lynch smokes” (This is a statement of fact, she even used cigarette holders. I could see the client acknowledging the point), “Yes, I’m really glamorous just like Bet Lynch”.

Collar bone: “Oh yeah, I love being really glamorous just like Bet”

Under the arm: “I’m really glamorous just like Bet”

This caused a complete shift in the client’s body language and upon testing, when asked to think about her aunty smoking, the client’s face no longer lit up. She was no longer associating smoking with being glamorous.

Factors Important to this Reframe

• The counter example used MUST be immediately recognizable to the client. When you use counter-examples who are not immediately recognizable you lose the impact. With this particular case I checked out with the client whilst still tapping whether she was familiar with the character. To the client this would have come across as just a casual conversation.
• Extreme counter examples can have the most effect. If I had just used a character that was neither here nor there regarding being glamorous, it would in all probability not have worked. The fact the counter example was in effect the anti-glamour was much more powerful. The character of Bet Lynch is brash, loud mouthed and wears thick make-up and has a very “loud” sense of style when it comes to the clothes she wears. For most people this is the type of image they would avoid at all costs.
• Rapport is crucial to the effective delivery of reframes, without sufficient rapport the client may feel that you are making fun of them, this is counter productive as it lessens the chance of the reframe landing.  Instead the client would be focused on their negative emotions.
• Calibrating to the client’s body language and being able to notice shifts and changes in it are also important facts. Many people intuitively do this. This is what helps you know when to deliver the reframe. I know personally when to deliver it because I sense it intuitively. This comes with practice and taking out any blocks you have to allowing yourself to be open to your own intuitions.

Bet Lynch was a counter-example that I used to find very useful with many smokers. Here I have high-lighted how to use her with “Smoking makes me glamorous”, I have also used her for, “Smoking makes me a rebel”. Unfortunately as with all good soap characters, they move on and Bet is no longer in the show, thus her value as an instantly recognizable counter-example has dropped dramatically. Since I watch very little conventional TV, I am a bit lacking on counter-examples, however I watched Borat (the film) the other day (at my kids insistence), I’m sure he will come in very useful at some point, don’t know just where as yet as reframes tend to spring forth in the moment (For anyone who has watched it, I think that film is going to haunt me for a long time).

I never plan my reframes however they just spring to mind in the moment. You might be pleasantly surprised at what reframes might just spring into your mind at just the right time. I hope you have a lot of fun when that happens.

All the best,

Tania

By Tania Prince, EFT Master

Please note: using the fictional character of Bet Lynch is meant as no reflection on the wonderful actress who plays Bet.

Thanks to my husband and to Chrissie for proof reading.

This article was previously published in the Newsletter produced by Gary Craig the developer of EFT

EFT and The Power of Reframing

Hi

Here is another article on combining EFT and the art of reframing. Both EFT and reframing are powerful tools in their own right for creating powerful shifts in perception, shifts that can enhance the quality of a persons life. When combined it can increase the effectiveness of the approaches.

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”.
Hamlet, Shakespeare

There have never been truer words said, we create our own meaning from the experiences we have in life. Nothing is good or bad until we decide it is good or bad. Since we create our own meaning we also have the ability to recreate that meaning to one which serves to improve the quality of our life.

Reframing – What is it?

Reframing is an incredibly effective tool that therapist’s can use for helping the client to change the way they think about their issues. It is the art of linguistically helping a client shift the meaning they give their experiences, to a meaning  which is more conducive to health and well-being and living the life they want to live.

Why Combine EFT with Reframing?

Reframing can be done without EFT. In fact it is commonly done in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)just in the context of conversation. However, combining reframing with EFT in my opinion makes the reframes embed even better.

The Benefits of Using Reframing

There are huge benefits into incorporating reframing into an EFT Practice. These include increased flexibility which, of course, increases the success rate you have with your clients. Another great benefit of using reframes is that it can make the session seem very relaxed and informal, because it takes away the rigidity of the more mechanical EFT approaches, such as chase the pain etc. To the client it may well just seem they are in a friendly conversation with their therapist, whilst casually tapping, in reality powerful therapy is taking place, because the client’s perceptions/ cognitions are being subtly influenced in the direction of their goal.

The Art of Reframing

There is a definite art to delivering effective reframes. The therapist needs to be in rapport with their client and also calibrated to the subtle communication that the client is constantly giving them.

Reframing should never be confused with leading the client. Leading is pushing the client to take on a new belief system, whereas reframing is far more subtle in its delivery and is respectful of the client. Reframes are not forced on the client, the client can choose to accept or not. And if delivered correctly this will not harm rapport.

In my experience the best reframes are those that just occur in the moment, spontaneously without the therapist consciously deciding what to say beforehand. Since the therapist has had different life experiences and thus different belief systems etc than the client, it is quite natural that when the client tells their story, the therapist has a different perspective on it than the client. This makes reframing easy for the therapist.

Steps to using Reframes

• Develop Rapport with the client
• Calibrate to the client’s body language and tonality (many EFT’ers have this skill naturally and just term it as intuition)
• Ask for content on the issue: content is essential in order to reframe

Basic Reframing

Years ago I worked with a client who had schizophrenia. When the client told me their story, they spoke of an event in which they had laughed whilst attending a funeral. The client interpreted this behaviour as meaning he was a “bad person”.

As he told his story, I asked myself, “What else could this behavior mean?” The thoughts that came to mind were, innocent like a child, naive, lacking in understanding of the conventions of our society. When I reframed by putting this to him, it created a change within the client, one which helped him see his behavior in a new light, one which supported him as a person in a much more positive way.

Although there are many different ways to reframe, the following are some of the reframes that I have used in my practice. Some of the examples are fairly wordy whilst others may just be one word.

Example 1: Reframing at an Identity Level

This is a reframe I used with a client who had experienced panic attacks for over nineteen years, in fact since the age of about 6 years old. The client expressed the idea that she was weak early within the therapy process. This is a common idea for someone to have if they have had endless experiences in life where they have felt extremely nervous. It becomes their identity. When asked to describe WHO they are they instantly scan through all their life experiences and evaluate who they are from the meaning they gave to those experiences. In this case the client had decided she was a person who was weak because she panicked all the time.

After we had done some work on the panic attacks, tapping out specific events, starting with the earliest she could remember, we targeted the belief, “I am weak”.

To set up the reframe, I told the client a metaphor, a story from my past that high-lighted what I wanted her to do. The initial story was told whilst tapping on the karate point and in a very conversational manner. At this point I already established excellent rapport with the client.

Whilst tapping on the karate point I said, “It doesn’t really matter what happens in life, it is the meaning you give to that event. For example, when I was in show business I was driving home from a gig, one Sunday afternoon along the M6 motorway in broad daylight, with my two colleagues in the car, when two cars came up and tried to force me to pull up. They had walkie-talkies and were working together. So a potentially negative situation, but you know what, I don’t see it that way (Pause, calibrating that the client is following along) because I out-drove them and out-thought them and left them behind.

And because of that event I know that in a potentially stressful situation, I am ice cool and am a quick thinker. So in a way I came away with something really positive, because if I hadn’t have had that happen I might not know that about myself. And I don’t know, but if you were to think about that experience and if there were some positive learnings to be had about you, what would you guess them to be”.

The client listened to what I had said and processed it for a moment before replying, “I am a strong person, because I could have left after five minutes because I felt so awful, but I stayed 90 minutes”.

There are several points about this type of reframe that make it highly effective:

Point 1: I didn’t offer the idea she was “strong”, although it certainly was what I was thinking, I enabled the client to come to that conclusion herself. After she concluded she was “strong”, I merely agreed with her, therefore confirming the conclusion she had come to and therefore reinforcing it. Since the idea came from the client she isn’t going to reject it.

Point 2: The reframe that I did here was merely suggest the possibility that there was something positive about her identity that she could learn from the experience, an experience which previously she had only been able to think about in negative terms. By using the word “if”, I am bypassing resistance to the idea that I am putting forward.

Point 3: Neuro-logical levels are a model of therapy developed by Robert Dilts a well-known NLP Trainer who has written many NLP Books. Within this model he cites the different levels at which you can target a therapeutic intervention. The higher up the model you go the more profound the effect. Identity is at the top of the model, therefore shifting a person’s concept of who they are to one that supports them, will create a powerful shift through many other areas of their life. Interesting, that not long after this reframe took place, the client went climbing on a practice wall at a leisure facility, even though the panic had not fully subsided at this point as therapy is still continuing at this point.

Example 2: I should have been able to deal with this

Another reframe that I use from time to time is one that deals with the idea often cited by clients who have experienced years of panic attacks;

“I should have been able to deal with this”.

The way I do this is simply setting it up by asking a few questions whilst tapping on the karate point.

The first question I put to the client was, “You’ve seen a doctor about the panic attacks and did they sort it out for you?” I then wait and allow the client to process what I have put to them.

“No”. At this point the client is often curious about where you are leading them with the questions. Curiosity is a great state for enhancing learning.

Then I continue: “Alright. And you’ve seen a psychologist/ counselor about it as well, and did they sort it out?” Again I wait and allow them to process what I have said.

“No”.

“Umm…….(putting my self into a mental state of thinking) and yet you think YOU SHOULD sort it out?”

Often at this point the client begins to smile, as they begin to see their issue from a new perspective.

I often take it one step further: “So you expect you to sort it out when even those who have studied therapy all of their lives can’t”. I usually do this with a sense of amusement, because as the client realizes the truth in what I have said, they also can see the amusing side of it. In fact at this point it is not uncommon for the client to say, “I hadn’t thought about it in that way before”. This is very firm proof that the client is now thinking in a new way about the problem

As a follow through I say, “No one gives you a manual with HOW to deal with panic attacks when you are born”. As I am saying all of this I am following the client’s reaction to what I am saying to make sure that the reframe has effectively helped them shift the idea, “I SHOULD have……..”

Looking at Robert Dilts neuro-logical levels of therapy again it is easy to see how this reframe works. It shifts the problem to one that is about them, identity level issue to one about their lack of knowledge in other words, they didn’t know, HOW. Thus the reframe shifts the problem from being a character flaw to just simply lacking a piece of information.

Example 3: One word Reframe

Not all reframes have to be as elaborate or wordy as the ones above, sometimes the inclusion of a simple word is all that is needed.

The following is an example of one of the simplest reframes I have ever used. It was used in a case where I was working with a client who had a dental phobia. I had taken her back to two events at this point in the session, both of which occurred when she had been in a dentist’s chair and had experienced extreme pain and discomfort yet had to remain in the chair for a long time whilst the dental work was done. In the first and earliest event, she described herself as thinking, “I’m going to die”. I was using extreme exaggeration in the reminder phrases. So when I started working on the second event, amongst other things, “I’m going to die…………..again”.

Well in most people’s lives they only die once, so by saying “again”, I am subtly pointing out that they survived the first time.

Learning more about the Art of Reframing

As with any skills, practice makes perfect. The more experience you get using reframes the better you become. However I would highly recommend reading Robert Dilt’s book called, Sleight of Mouth. This book covers multiple ways of reframing and is an excellent resource for those who would like to truly master this art.

Tania A Prince

© Tania A Prince, EFT Master

This article was previously published in the newsletter published by Gary Craig the developer of EFT and also on the EFT Masters worldwide site

Tania Prince, EFT Master